What i do ?

First time the combat of life with life,
First time the war between truth and the hype.

First time one half of mind say go for vocation,
The other half say go for satisfaction.

Some say look for yourself,
Heart say justify for yourself.

One mind say "you need career",
Other mind say "re-think your motive".

Life say " let me live in comfort" ,
Soul say "why can't life be disrupt"

Faith say " i am with you",
Greed say "how can i leave you".

Path say " i show you the destiny",
Destiny say "Change the path my dear".

I am impotent to conclude this poem. It need ataraxis,it need assuredness.

Judgement day

So, the day come. Its the day when i( we ) are realeasing our first indusrtial project. A unique work that i guess i will never get in life again. Hoping for some good response. A lot of sweat and hard work is there in this project by my partners, also a little from me:-) .

Everyone celebrating Holi and we are here working on it. Sometime it feel good but sometime feel bad. Today, is the celebration day in interraIT but i am not taking part in any of them :-(. I am weak in these things songs, gitar etc etc.

So, yesterday we got a new watch and first day we altered that.

Happy Holi to all of the World.

Its a celebration of colors and further means a celebration for hope in life. It is a occasion of love,
ataraxis,entrust.

Definition of Love ..

Those who allowed Love to sour know that the angels will sweeten the pot... and the plot again.
As spring dances in summer's blaze and golden flowers burst into bouquets, Love is in the air. With Venus' arrival within a month, there's Love for everyone, 'tis the season, take when God gives, take what God gives; the arms of the blue sky "that follows its own laws" are open right now.

Those whose loved ones have passed away, know that God will fill your heart in some mysterious way. Those who’ve lost Love know that the angels will return it to you. Those who allowed Love to sour know that the angels will sweeten the pot... and the plot again.
Those who've waited know that now is forever. Ask in His ear if this really is from Him, lend Him your ear for His whisper and then run to your gift. Get your gift, get this:

*Love is God's Daughter. You fool with God's Daughter; you pay the price for the rest of your Life. Love asks for Faithfulness. Even if you don't make a commitment, once you share physical intimacy with someone, your body makes the commitment.
Don't ruin a great thing; there's only one person in the world that can light up your soul; a hundred will fire your groin. But only one has been invested with the grace of God to light up your soul.

*First find your soul; your soulmate will find you. When you become the person you are meant to be, when you have had the experiences you are meant to have and when the one meant for you has too, then your paths pull each of you towards each other and eventually at a universally ordained time your paths cross. Little is more powerful than people meant for each other coming together.

*I know I'm the misfit and rank as the oddest one out in today's passionate times, but Love I believe is so sacred you have to wait till it's only Love. Even the holding of a hand is not just the holding of a hand; it's sharing the imprint on each other's palm and passing through the touch the best of each other's destiny.

*It's sometimes better to be in love with someone who loves you than who you love. For if it is only God who chooses and angels who prepare your Love story, it exceeds anything anyone has ever experienced.
I want yours to be that way. In an imperfect world with us imperfect people I still believe in a perfect Love. Never ever believe the world, believe in up there. Great Love calls for great Faith.

*If your relationship doesn't have shared spirituality, it won't be able to stand the onslaught of the difficult times we live in. Let the soul, not the sex dictate your decision. Many mouths will pleasure you; only one heart will treasure you.

*When someone truly loves you, it is a gift from God Himself. Never lose this kind of Love. David Berg in Glimpses of Heaven notes: "Many cry when they first arrive in Heaven and realise how much their mistakes have cost and lost." When you lose your truest love, anything else you later go on to gain is a total Loss.

Only when you are truly ready to honour, cherish and give Love top priority in your Life for the rest of your Life, It will reciprocate... for the rest of your Life. I wish with all that I am, that you find the Love God has destined for you. For it is in the love of someone who worships you that you will find a glimpse of God.

*What a winner Love is. In a vast world of six billion of us different people it is the most common wish to God


--Its not written by me but i can feel this bueaty.

If I Had Created Man !

Date: 18-03-2005 ( a big day for me)

Today, i was thinking that can't it happens that when we want, we lost our all past memory so that we can begin up with a new life like in moive 51st days.And yes, knowledge doesn't comes in the inevitability part of memory.

How cool !!! We never, in our heart, all those panic feelings which we have had in our past.
But !!!! No No ... its my thwarting who forced me to say so. I simmer down myself and then i re-thought.

Oh my God !! We also lost our marvellous memories. No we can't afford that.

And so a ratiocination, that God created Human being more or less perfect. But still i had some sugession to put up in the suggestion box in God's office.

In the one life span, God must have to do the following things with us :-

1. For some span of time, each human( not everyone at onces ) has to go through a peroid of blindness and much better if that person know the number of days.

I am dead sure , person like me don't have -4.00 power glass on the eyes, because we never care about it. It becomes our general tendency to work with this bloody computer more that 14-15 hrs and doing same work that can be done in 4-5 hrs easily.
4-5 days before i read an article in which a question was asked from a blind girl. " If anyway you will get your eyes for 3 days, what you do with that ".And a great answer goes like ... ( i guess never be answered so greatly by a two eyes working person)

... Day 1: First day i want to see oceans, rivers, trees , birds, farms ... and try to associate the relation between the sound and the bueaty of nature.

... Day 2: Second day i watch man, animal and try to associate their feeling of sorrow, love, joy. I try to put them in my heart rather than in my eyes.

... Day 3: The judgement day, with my closed eyes, i pray near God to give me happy in my life. In that prayer i never ask God to give me eyes.

2. Not very different from Point 1, for some span of time, ( not again everyone at onces ) each human has to go through a peroid of dumb and deafness and again more better if that person know the number of days.
It coerce us to become a good listener and also provides us the respect towards our tounge, which we generally learnt after 20-25 years of life. Even after 20-25 years of life, i saw the people who don't have control on their words. They said ,what they even don't know the meaning.

3. Last and the most important, God ceases from us for sometime " THE FEELING ".What we learn from it ?

Nothing we learn. Its the learning time for those who speak with us . When a person share his/her happiness,joy,sorrow to you and you respond nothing on it. He/She become Mad :-))
Very few people i saw in my short life who had respect for others feeling. I would be thankful to God, if i will get some more such "other feeling-respecting" people.We always try to avoid others because it the human mentality to feel himself great. I can simply pose an example " Look on yourself, when you are listening a song and you as well, singing that song. We feel that, we are singing very similar to the actual singer. "

AM I RIGHT OR NOT ??

And you can value others , value feeling of others , iff ( only if ) we value ourself. I still didn't forgot the day when i was on the trip of Vasnab Devi . JayaKumar Sir ( our X-OS professor ) told Namarta Mathur Madam ( our PD teacher ) in a tauntful manner " Madam ( he also used to say Madam ) it seems that you have lots of pain in walking, why you have so much affection with your life , can't you move fast " and a one line reply " I value my life and so i care it ". Answer was sufficent affinity to close the further discussion and JayaSir replied " I love this answer".

WHAT YOU THINK I AM WRONG SOMEWHERE ?

-- Sometime God doesn't give us something, because they thought that this person deserves more than this ...

Ready, Set , Go

Today when i was coming back to home from office, i remembered that i blank out my walkman in home. So, its very panic to timepass 1.30 hrs in bus and most panic when you are sitting alone. Just i opened the windows and watching the trees outside.

In the prolongation of that, i lost somewhere in my dreams. With retention of my splendid peroids in college, venerate of leaving college, the exuberance of a new journey and lots of things.

I just commemorated the initiation of college life till to its termination,everything. My recap started from the day when i joined my college. A college having just one building and a lecture hall where even 200 sutdents can't sit at a time and same as with me. A student who didn't speak a line english near someone,not because he didn't know but because of the perception that others bemocked on me.

Time blowing over, we learnt some good manners some bad also. But whatever we had , happy with that small life. Time never gave us chance to even free ourself and think something about future. Got some new friends, release the memory space of some older friends. Some are so special that i can't forget them before my death.

And now on the corner to pack the bag, with a lots of memory just so much that , this life is small if we want to recapuslate them again.

Can we forget them ?? For some defintly YES, but some n't even in lifetime and some may be not in the next life span.

Just remembered the dialog of movie Soldier " Insaan murr jata ha, mugar aawaja jinda rahte ha".

If someone told me to write your feeling and learning in one line - i just told that guy " It is the start of a roadless journey , just we have to remember on that journey, whatever we do ,it surves the purpose of being ourself human".

" We make the Net Work" - Sun MicroSystems.

Mr. Rajeev Bansal ...

'Mr. Rajeev Bansal' i know i will not hear this tommorow, a sound dawned from the next cubical.Rajeev(sir) left us. I even don't ask and i really had no interest to know " Where he go, Why he go ",because

beautiful minds find their home anywhere in this world and so Rajeev too.

I can still commemorate the first day when i met Rajeev(sir) .

(The rule abided by company is to not use Sir/Madam as forename and thats create a hell lot of problem with the new novice.)

We already had a lot of chronicled story of trainee victims. Just having all that in mind , i met Rajeev(Sir) first time. He introduced himself in a apathetic manner. And then i intorduce myself in dread manner. I mean, the intoduction means name only ,not even a single word more than that.

Time glided by, with its usual pace and Rajeev was so busy that i didn't get time to even ask anything more than name.But in the meantime, i got to know that he was the 'Keymaker' of this project.

Generally when me met, either he explaining the project details or he shouting on us 'arre yaar tek sa kar lo ya.' I never felt that he was affronting us because it was his avid effort in this project and he didn't want to lose battle because of us.

I couldn't explain his ebullience on the day when finally he accepted to got some fruit from his work. 'Check karo, Release_build check karo, debug_build check karo'.

And the very first day after that Seema ( Madam ) ( our project manager) told us that " Rajeev going to leave us ".

News was appalling for us, but anyhow we know the fact that responisblity conveyancing on our shoulders.Rajeev(sir) is always a word of 'aspiration' for me. I always wish his success in the future endeavour.